I was just interview by KUTV Channel 2 news. The interview was two hours long because they wanted to see what my home life was really like—and they definitely got a taste of it. Ezra kept jumping in front of the camera and the girls were so shy at first. Dan Rascon, the guy who interviewed us, is such a nice guy. (Fun fact: he and my oldest brother are friends and it was fun to make that connection. My husband remembered meeting him before and I would have had no idea if he hadn't mentioned it to me before filming.)
Here is the interview if you missed it on KUTV Channel 2 news:
During the interview, I worked on a dress. I really like this dress and wish I would have made a tutorial but it was too hard to have so many things going on at once. Maybe next time!
One thing I've realized that last few months is that following my passions has opened up doors I didn’t even know existed. It's so important to follow your “gut” (intuition) and do what interests you most. There have been many times I’ve hit the wall mid-project or late at night and I’ve thought what is the point? Why do I keep coming back for more punishment? Why is my desire to create so strong that it's all I think about?
There has to be a purpose in having such a strong desire to create, right? Even in the chaos of having four kids in five years, I've still maintained the need to be creative. A huge portion of my happiness stems from creativity. I’ve felt guilty in the past for spending so much time sewing or painting instead of cleaning or sleeping while the kids are asleep. Mom-guilt is a cancer so many of us suffer from. Are we doing enough? Are we doing too much? Finding balance is like walking a slack line while holding all of your children—and I feel like I spend a lot of time on the ground without ever moving forward.
There have been times when it seems like my desire to be a maker and artist is a curse ... am I wishing for time and energy I don't have? Oftentimes, I’ve felt like creating is distracting me from being a “good” house wife who has dinner ready and the house clean when my husband walks in from work. I’ve felt trapped as a mother unable to follow my own dreams. All of these are incorrect ideologies I’ve concocted in my own brain and nothing my husband or kids have done or said to make me feel this way. I just want to be good at it all. I want to be the best mom. I want to be the best artist. I want to be a home maker. I want to make money. I want to look put together. I want to have fun. I want ... want ... WANT. (Don’t I sound like a real fun person to be around? Ha ha.)
I've sent many prayers to Heaven sincerely wondering why I was given this desire to make. I feel I always get the same response: God is aware of me and I need to keep trying. I need to give more than I take. When I put the most important things first other things seem to fall into place. God has blessed me with gifts and talents and as long as I don’t limit myself by procrastination, fear or envy, I can be happy.
Two years ago I wanted to start a business. I prayed, fasted and visited the temple to ask God if it was the right thing to do. I had the clearest answer that I should not pursue a business. The answer was so clear that I have never asked since. I decided to focus all my efforts toward my family. I ran into a small problem: I still needed to be creative. I couldn't just focus on being a mom and forget about my desire to make.
The solution? I started an Instagram account to document what I was making. I never thought this would take me anywhere, I just wanted to keep a record for my kids of the projects I made. I was very happy. I felt very happy because I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do. I wasn’t starting a business and I was still developing my talents. I was making to make.
I look back now and realize what a blessing these last two years have been. I've had the opportunity to be creative without the pressure of money or business dictating my decisions.
I look at the influence my kids have had on my creative process. I would never be making children’s clothes, illustrating children’s books or making stuffed animals if it weren’t for them. I would have never started sewing if it weren’t for having my first son.
I learned to focus on the creative processes that were most satisfying because I had limited time to be creative. As I started to feel more and more fulfillment from being creative, I stopped spending as much time watching TV and wasting my time. Every minute of my day was important.
Henry D. Taylor said, “Where the desire is strong, seemingly weak talents may be strengthened and developed.”
I know that because I have worked to develop one talent, many other talents have been developed and doors have been opened (doors I would never imagine would open). I know it is important to follow our dreams. I know that as we put our dreams in our Heavenly Father’s hands and have him guide our steps we will be blessed far more than we can imagine on our own.
One of those doors opened was the opportunity to be featured on KUTV Channel 2 news. I’m seriously blown away by it. I still can’t believe it! It has been an awesome experience and I get so excited to think about what could be next.